Monday, July 12, 2010 West Edmonton Mall/Calgary

I'm planning to leave Edmonton for Calgary early, but I decide that I will go to the West Edmonton Mall because it's there and I suppose that one should see North America's largest mall - even if one hates to shop. It is a spectacle! Took a while just to drive around the complex. Steeled myself and went in. I randomly chose an entrance that turned out to be the entrance to Galaxyland. This doesn't count as shopping. There are roller coasters, and several arcades, and spinning swings, and drop rides, and other things that will cause your hair to blow back and your eyeballs to bug out. It was everything that I could do not to fork over all my dollars, US and Canadian, for tickets and spend the rest of my life, I mean the rest of the day, in here. But I'm just here to go a little way into the mall, see what I can see, snap a few pics, maybe have lunch, and be on my way. Research really. Once I get out into the mall proper, I'm sure that I don't want to go in too far as my GPS won't work indoors and I'm afraid that I would never find my way out. Besides Galaxyland, the joint includes a casino, bingo parlor, hotels (the Fantasyland Hotel looked pretty cool), supermarkets, movie theaters, water parks, restaurants, food courts, dinner theaters, dry cleaners, tailors, pubs, car detailing, strategically spaced arcades, adult boutiques, a full size ice rink, coffee houses, tatoo parlors, beauty salons, spas, and every retail shop known to man from Armani to the Gap. Seriously, try to name a retail store that's not in there. Nope, that one's there. Just stop cause they're all there. The last pic is one of many sculptures in the mall. This one pays tribute to the oil field roughneck. My father would have loved it. I stopped into a Starbucks for a fix (yes, their coffee is expensive, but the lines are long) and asked how many there are in the mall, expecting somewhere upwards of a dozen, but the clerk said only two. I don't trust this place. Make my way back out through Galaxyland, resisting the urge to ride the roller coaster 40 times, find my car, set the GPS for Calgary, and head south. Rains the entire trip and the highway is under construction to make the journey even more tedious. When I get to the price-incredibly-jacked-up-because-it's-Stampede-and-we-can hotel, I find out that about two hours before I arrived, there was a horrific storm that included torrential rain, high wind, and golf ball sized hail. So I guess it was providence that caused me to take the time to peruse the West Edmonton Mall so my car would not have dimples. However, providence is not with me when I call the front desk to extend my stay a night. The ditz on the other end of the line cheerfully tells me that she'll be happy to extend me but will have to raise my room rate by 40+ dollars since the entire city is booked because of Stampede. Does that sound like extortion to you? Howdy, welcome to Calgary, bend over please. I am officially boycotting Best Western Hotels for the rest of my life. I hope you will do the same. Stampede tomorrow.